Posts

Marriage Counseling in Cary NC

Would it surprise you to learn that in 2022, over 75,000 marriages took place in North Carolina? That’s a lot of marriages, no two of which are exactly the same. Every relationship—especially one between two married folks—encounters its own speed bumps along the way.

Sometimes, couples can work through anything that life throws at them—and sometimes they think they can, but they really need a little guidance and support to get through the rougher patches.

If you’re in North Carolina searching for “marriage counseling near me,” or “best couples therapists” you’re not alone. The state’s divorce rate ranks 12th in the nation (though the rate itself—3.2 divorces per 1,000 residents—isn’t far off of the national median rate).

If there’s one factor that tends to separate the couples that make it through their roughest patches, it’s a commitment to improving their relationship communication, learning how to address conflict patterns, and committing to growing their trust and intimacy. By addressing their communication styles and these other dynamics, they can increase their levels of understanding and empathy with each other and rediscover the happiness in their marriage. And when we say “marriage counseling,” we also mean “couples therapy,” because we’re here to support all people in their relationships.

Here we answer a few of the most common questions we hear from North Carolinians who seek out marriage counseling in order to rediscover the spark in their relationship.

What Is the Success Rate of Marriage Counseling?

If you’re trying to determine whether marriage counseling is worth it, consider these statistics:

Obviously, there’s no such thing as a sure thing, but these figures should be encouraging. The wide range in estimated success rates underscores the importance of finding the right type of therapist for a couple’s needs.

As the fields of emotional development, trauma healing, brain science, attachment theory, and others continue to grow, so does the science of couples therapy.

What Type of Therapist Is Best for Marriage Counseling?

While no two therapists are identical, the best ones will…

  • Specialize in couples therapy and/or marriage counseling.
  • Apply evidence-based couples therapy models tailored to their clients’ specific needs. 
  • Take a strengths-based approach to counseling.
  • Have additional certifications in areas like infidelity, communication, trauma, sex, etc.

Why are these factors so vital? Let’s briefly explore each.

Specialization | While other types of therapists can certainly help individuals to better navigate issues within the relationship, the best results come from both parties working together. Therapists who specialize in couples therapy and/or marriage counseling will bring a finely-tuned skill set into the equation, increasing the chances of success.

An Evidence-Based Approach | Therapists who apply evidence-based couples therapy models leverage techniques based on scientific evidence and results—rather than, say, making it up as they go.

A Strengths-Based Approach | For a majority of couples, focusing on the positives is much more encouraging and constructive than dwelling on the negatives. By focusing on the positive aspects of the relationship first and working from there, couples can rediscover their spark, improve their communication patterns, and build toward a brighter shared future! The purpose of the strengths-based approach is to get the individuals in a relationship working as a team so the deeper issues can be addressed more efficiently.

How Much Does Marriage Counseling Cost in North Carolina?

While the price of counseling shouldn’t deter you from seeking help, it’s certainly a valid question. So, how much does marriage counseling cost? At Well Marriage CenterCounseling, our general rates for North Carolina residents are around $175-$195 per session. 

All too often, though, the assumed price point of marriage counseling deters couples from taking this important step in their relationship, so let’s consider these costs another way. Our clients often start with weekly one-on-one sessions, and then progress to every-other-week and then monthly sessions together, and spend a total of 5-10 months receiving our services.

That comes out to around $375 to $475 per month. Take the high end of that range and multiply it by 10 months of services, it comes out to less than $5,000. If that sounds like a lot, consider that in North Carolina, the average cost of a divorce is nearly $13,000. Divorce and separation have other costs as well, including emotional, family, and sometimes even work or friends. At Well Marriage, we think it’s worth the effort to improve relationships – we have seen the benefits in thousands of couples!

Additionally, we offer premarital or dating therapies in the hope that couples can build a relationship that is solid, happy, and set for long-term success. Starting your journey on the same page helps couples achieve their life goals together, manage conflict in healthy ways, and deepen intimacy over time.

How Much Is Couples Therapy with Insurance?

While couples therapy or marriage counseling are not typically covered by standard insurance plans, Well Marriage Center is considered to be an “out-of-network” provider. This is an important designation that means half or more of our clients are able to seek out at least partial reimbursement (anywhere from 25% to 95%).

You can learn more about what to expect by reading our Fees and Insurance FAQ or by contacting your insurance provider.

How Much Is Couples Therapy without Insurance?

Without insurance coverage, Well Marriage Center’sCounseling’s base rates—$175 to $195—apply. That being said, if you don’t have standard insurance but do work for an employer who offers an Employee Assistance Program (EAP), then couples therapy or marriage counseling may be covered. Also, if one partner has employer-provided insurance but the other doesn’t, you may be able to work with your therapist to bill the sessions under the covered individual’s benefits.

North Carolinians, There Is Hope!

At Well Marriage Center, our team of licensed professionals is ready to help. Whether you’re looking for standard marriage counseling options, individual therapy, or relationship wellness programs, start with Well Marriage Center. We provide marriage counseling and couples therapy in Cary, NC—as well as Charlotte, Wilmington, and several other states in the region. We also have a team of virtual therapists who are ready to work with you.

Take the first step today by either connecting with us through our Intake Coordinator, who will help you navigate the process of finding a therapist, or by using our online Therapist Calendar Form.

 

 

Marriage Counseling in Bethesda, MD

It’s no secret that Bethesda is one of the best places in the U.S. to call home. With a high education rate, below-average unemployment rates, low crime rates and a very high median income, it’s no wonder this suburb of Washington, D.C. regularly finds itself on various lists for best places to live. And since over half of its roughly 60,000 residents are married, Bethesda clearly is a great place for married couples to settle down.

What makes Bethesda a great place to live for married couples, specifically? It’s hard to definitively find one reason, but at Well Marriage Center, we’d like to believe a part of their success is because they have access to a lot of high-quality therapy. That’s right: therapy isn’t just for couples that are struggling! Therapy is something everyone should do—young or old, married or single, in Bethesda or anywhere. And when it comes to marriage counseling specifically, Well Marriage provides the best therapy for Bethesda, MD residents and beyond.

If you’re looking to improve relationship communication, strengthen your bond with your partner, resolve conflict, or simply become a better partner yourself, marriage counseling (or couples therapy!) is for you. And if you’re seeking marriage counseling in the Washington, D.C. area, Well Marriage is here. Read about how therapists help couples build their best marriages, and why couples counseling is worth it no matter what kind of relationship you have.

Finding a Therapist in Bethesda, MD

Truthfully, choosing a therapist is a lot like choosing a partner to date: you need to…

  • Know what you’re looking for in marriage counseling.
  • Find therapists who fit those criteria.
  • Have a session with those therapists to see how they work.

It’s important to note that while therapy is a scientific field, it’s also an emotional practice, so certification isn’t the only quality that makes a good fit. Of course, your ideal marriage therapist needs to be accredited. But a therapist also needs to be able to empathize with you and your partner, and work with you in a way that brings out the best in your marriage.

To dive deeper, let’s look at some commonly-asked questions about how to find a therapist:

What type of counselor is best for marriage?

While there are many types of counselors out there, there’s one thing you should always look for in a marriage counselor: certification. The state of Maryland recognizes two types of certification for marriage and family therapists (MFTs): Licensed Graduate Marriage and Family Therapist (LGMFT), and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). Both certifications require passing an exam, continued education, and thousands of hours of prior experience—much of which is supervised. 

When you work with a licensed MFT, you can be sure you’re getting someone who is highly qualified, very educated, and has a lot of experience with a wide range of couples. That’s exactly the kind of therapist you want to work with when improving your marriage, and those are the kinds of therapists we provide at Well Marriage!

What is the most effective type of couples therapy?

Ultimately, this is going to depend on the couple, but various techniques in couples counseling have proven effective. According to Psychology Today, emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is by far the most effective, with 90% of couples significantly improving their relationship and almost 75% no longer fitting the criteria for “relationship distress.” EFT centers emotions and emotional attachment as the core of a healthy relationship, and aims to help couples build emotional connection as well as understanding of their own individual emotions.

Again, though, just because something works “by the numbers” does not necessarily mean it’s the best solution for your marriage. Every relationship is different, and there are a variety of techniques that could prove just as effective—or even more effective—than EFT. The best couples counselors will be familiar with multiple techniques, including EFT, the Gottman Method, Imago Therapy, and many others. That’s exactly what our team at Well Marriage provides, and why we believe our therapists are the best therapists in the Bethesda metro area. In addition to understanding various therapy techniques, we take a strength-based approach to counseling, helping couples build off the great qualities they already share.

Should married couples see the same therapist?

It’s a good idea for them to do so! A therapist can—and often will—have sessions where both partners are present and with each individual partner. Many times, the struggles couples face together stem from interpersonal issues each person brings to the relationship. When a marriage therapist works with couples in both settings, they gain a better contextual understanding of the marriage and everything that plays into it.

Build the Marriage of Your Dreams With Us

Ready to see how wonderful your marriage or relationship can be? Do you live in the Bethesda, MD metro area? Reach out to us at the Well Marriage Center! We believe that no matter what struggles a couple may face, if they’re willing to work together, couples therapy can create a wonderful, fulfilling relationship that stands the test of time. Whether you want to improve communication, work through a difficult time, or simply make your marriage better, we can help you do that—and more. Every relationship can benefit from therapy, and with Well Marriage, those benefits could be better than you ever imagined.

If you’d like to learn more about how marriage therapy works, please reach out to our intake coordinator Melinda to schedule an appointment!

 

 

Marriage Counseling in Wilmington, NC

Wilmington, North Carolina is more than just a beautiful coastal city with picturesque scenery, charming historic districts, and delectable seafood. It’s also a place where couples build a life together, share their dreams, and create cherished memories. However, even in this lovely city, marriages, and all relationships, can have their challenges. 

At the Well Marriage Center in Wilmington, NC, we understand that navigating the ups and downs of a marriage can be rough. But rest assured that you’re not alone, as many couples in North Carolina face similar struggles. The state has higher-than-average divorce rates, but it’s encouraging to know that these rates have decreased over the past few decades.

If you’re thinking about rekindling your relationship with marriage and family counseling in Wilmington, NC, you may be wondering what to expect and where to start. In this blog, we’ll explore some common questions and concerns about marriage counseling and couples therapy, including crucial factors to consider when selecting a therapist. And don’t think counseling is only for struggling couples—it’s also a way to strengthen your bond and reignite your connection for long-term success!

How Do I Choose a Couple Therapist in Wilmington, NC?

Choosing the right couple therapist can take time, as you must consider the therapist’s credentials, approach, availability, and reviews. Here are some tips to help you make an informed decision:

  • Look for a licensed and experienced therapist

It’s essential to choose a therapist who is licensed and trained in providing couples therapy. For example, our Well Marriage Center therapists in Wilmington are all Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSWs). This designation guarantees that the therapist has met the necessary requirements to provide effective couples therapy, such as a minimum of 3,000 hours in supervised clinical employment. With all of this experience, LCSWs have a deep understanding of the social and emotional factors that impact relationships, making them well-equipped to help couples explore the complexities of their partnership. 

In addition to this, our therapists have training in other specific areas, like attachment theory, trauma, sex and intimacy, emotional development, conflict resolution, and more.

  • Consider the therapist’s approach

There are numerous approaches to couples therapy, and your ideal therapist will use techniques that resonate with you and your partner. What type of couples therapy is most effective? It truly depends on the circumstances of your marriage or relationship. Well Marriage Center therapists, for example, use a strengths-based therapeutic model that focuses on building and fortifying your relationship. Our goal is for couples to get better—and stay better—because their relationship is stronger and their connection is deeper. Science shows this approach works more effectively at getting couples to tackle problems as a team.

  • Evaluate the therapist’s availability

Marriage counseling is not very effective if you can’t regularly attend sessions, so make sure the therapist you choose can match your schedule and needs. You may also want to assess factors like location and accessibility. If you’re looking for Wilmington therapy services, you can stop by our Lumina Station location for in-person counseling or attend couples therapy online with one of our virtual therapists.

  • Check reviews and references

It’s crucial to hear experiences from previous clients to gauge the therapist’s effectiveness and professionalism. This context can give you an idea of the types of clients the therapist has helped in the past and what issues they specialize in. For example, Wilmington therapist Chae Kwak, LCSW, received this positive review:

“Chae was so understanding and fair. He listened and had exercises that helped us really understand each other. After that, we were able to work towards solutions instead of just blaming each other and fighting. Our issues were mainly around parenting styles and home/workload balance. Great therapist!”

If you and your partner also struggle with parenting styles and home/workload balance, then Chae might be an ideal fit for you two. Be sure to go through several reviews to get a sense of the therapist’s capabilities and approach.

How Long Should You Do Marriage Counseling For?

According to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, counselors typically practice short-term therapy for marriage counseling, with an average of 12 sessions. Here are some additional statistics to keep in mind:

  • Therapists complete nearly 65.6% of cases within 20 sessions.
  • Therapists complete 87.9% of cases within 50 sessions.
  • Marital/couples therapy typically requires 11.5 sessions, and family therapy requires nine sessions, both requiring less time than the average individualized treatment of 13 sessions.

Remember, these are just averages, and your experience may be different depending on your relationship’s unique circumstances and goals. There’s no need to rush the process, and your therapist should work with you to customize a treatment plan that covers your specific needs and goals. 

How Much Does Marriage Counseling Cost in NC?

Therapists in North Carolina who do not take insurance charge, on average, between $175 to $195 per session. These prices will vary depending on the experience of the therapist, the location, and many other factors. However, you can still receive reimbursement for these services, even from therapists who are not “in-network” with health insurance companies.  

At Well Marriage Center, we understand that the cost of counseling can be a concern for many couples. That’s why we strive to ensure our services are accessible to everyone. Most of our clients who submit to their insurance company for reimbursement receive 25-90% of their fees back once they meet their out-of-network deductible. Additionally, our team is flexible with payment schedules to help you stay within your budget. We also accept Health Savings Account (HSA) cards, allowing you to invest your pre-tax dollars in your marriage.

Where to Find Marriage Counseling in Wilmington, NC

Building a strong and successful marriage requires dedication and effort, but you don’t have to do it alone. At the Well Marriage Center in Wilmington, NC, our expert therapists offer a strengths-based approach to assist couples in navigating the challenges of their relationship. From disagreements on parenting styles to difficulties communicating, we’ve helped both married and unmarried couples of all types through it all. Reach out to us today to start your journey toward a happier and more resilient relationship.

 

 

 

Marriage Counseling in Charlottesville, VA

Marriage counseling can be an intimidating thing to start, especially if you haven’t had any experience with therapy in the past. But setting aside time to strengthen your bond and improve your relationship communication, among other issues, is a positive step to take that doesn’t have to be scary. 

A good place to start is to look for a practice that specializes in relationships, marriage counseling, or couples therapy. Therapists with training and experience working with couples and families will be able to provide an empathetic, more effective path towards improving your relationship. At Well Marriage Center, all our counselors specialize in working with couples, so have extensive experience and use the latest training for the best results. 

For many couples, working with a therapist who is physically close by is another important aspect, especially since many practices aren’t licensed across state lines. For example, if you live near Charlottesville, Virginia, searching for “marriage counseling near me” or “best therapists in Charlottesville, VA” is obviously a useful place to start. 

What Is the Difference Between Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling?

At Well Marriage Center, the terms “couples therapy” and “marriage counseling” are used interchangeably. Either term means that a couple is in a serious and committed relationship and they would like to strengthen their bond or work on resolving an issue. 

No matter what you call it, therapy for couples in a relationship is a dedicated time for partners to:

  • Improve communication, listening, and conflict management skills
  • Invigorate their relationship, trust, & intimacy
  • Interrupt unhealthy behavior patterns
  • Overcome relationship challenges
  • Heal past wounds

Some partners seek out counseling when issues arise in their relationship, like infidelity, an increase in disagreements, or a lack of connection. For others, therapy is a regular part of their relationship maintenance, and they use it as a time to deepen their connection and learn new ways of expressing themselves to each other. However you slice it, setting aside a specific time and energy to focus on one of your most important relationships will help you build a stronger connection to your partner, and therapy can be a useful tool in any relationship. 

What Does Couples Counseling Do?

Every marriage counseling practice will do things a little differently, but there are two modern elements that Well Marriage thinks are most important: strengths-based and marriage-friendly counseling.

Strengths-Based Counseling

In a strengths-based approach, your therapist will begin by asking you and your partner about the positive elements of your relationship and the strengths of your partner. Doing this focuses on what brought you together as a couple in the first place: the good times you have shared, the things you like, and what you respect about each other now. Focusing on (and building upon) these strengths can be a much better start to counseling than jumping straight into the current issues you may be facing. Research shows this approach strengthens a couple’s ability to face challenges as a team.

Marriage-Friendly Counseling

A marriage-friendly therapist (or pro-relationship therapist) will come to each session with the underlying assumption that your relationship can be a happy and fulfilling one. As long as both people are willing to put in the work to create or reinvigorate their relationship, Well Marriage Center believes couples will be successful in their goals. Many other counselors start from a marriage-neutral point, where they do not form an opinion on whether or not a couple should stay together. To us, this makes it harder to truly support the relationship during the delicate moments that can arise during sessions. Knowing your counselor is on the side of your relationship and wants it to succeed can make the process easier for everyone.

When You Think “Couples Therapy Near Me,” Think Well Marriage Center

Well Marriage Center has helped well over 15,000 couples improve their relationships and rekindle their romance. We offer marriage counseling in Virginia, Maryland, Washington DC, North and South Carolina, Florida, and California. If you prefer virtual counseling, that is available for those living in any of these states as well.

In addition to marriage counseling and couples therapy, we also offer dating or premarital counseling in Charlottesville, VA and at all our other locations. Our other services include individual support for relationship issues and family therapy. When you’re ready, getting started with us is an easy process. We love empowering couples to cultivate the bond they deserve!

Marriage Counseling & Couples Therapy in Short Pump, VA

Are you and your partner in Short Pump, VA and in need of a  relationship communication tune-up? What about other issues, like intimacy blocks or even conflict? If so, you might be searching for “marriage counseling near me” or “therapist Short Pump, VA” to find a counselor in your area. Fortunately, there’s a way to find the most suitable therapist for you and your significant other. Here, we explain how to begin your counseling journey and find a marriage or couples counselor that will help you both succeed in your relationship and cultivate the bond you deserve.

*We use the terms “marriage counseling” and “couples therapy” interchangeably, as the techniques and end goal of therapy is the same for all – to improve the relationship, repair loss of trust and intimacy, improve communication and conflict management, and to deepen the love and commitment between people.

What Type of Therapist Is Best for Marriage Counseling?

For most couples, the best therapist to provide marriage counseling and couples therapy will be accredited by the Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFT). In fact, while several private practices offer family and marriage counseling in different states, Virginia requires having an LMFT to practice couples therapy. This credential is especially important because LMFTs have a lot of experience working with couples and families. Their experience leads to a deep understanding of the unique problems and issues that can happen in these situations.

With the added certification from American Association for Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT), you can rest assured that your therapist has been evaluated by an experienced marriage counselor. This license includes many hours of training for completion, which is great for the married couples of Richmond. For example, in Virginia, one requirement to become licensed by the AAMFT is that training “must include a supervised practicum/internship, of at least 600 hours.”

We hire therapists who have dedicated their careers to improving relationships. Our therapists have additional training, such as working with trauma, affairs, emotional development, brain science, and lack of sex.

How Do I Find a Good Relationship Counselor Near Richmond, Virginia?

You and your partner should take plenty of time to find a relationship counselor who is a good fit for both of you. The right relationship counselor will be a good fit for both you and your partner to better serve the relationship as a whole. However, finding this can be difficult—especially if you and your partner aren’t in agreement over what makes a good fit. In addition, there is some difficulty in knowing where to look first. But if you follow these steps, you can find a counselor you can trust to help you work through your concerns:

  • Any recommendations? If you need help finding a relationship counselor, ask around—for example, you can seek help from family, friends, or coworkers you trust. A referral from your doctor or another reliable professional is another option.
  • What do the reviews say online? There are plenty of counselors accessible online. Check for customer feedback on their website or in search engine results.
  • Are they qualified? Verify that the counselor you are thinking of working with has the right qualifications. You can confirm their status by contacting the appropriate licensing body in your state.
  • What’s their specialization? It’s common for counselors to focus on helping certain types of families or couples. Find a therapist who specializes in addressing the issues you’re facing.
  • Can you set up a consultation? Many counselors offer a consultation to make sure they are the right fit for you and your partner. Ask the counselor any questions that you have and learn how they approach the issue you’re facing.

Why is finding the right counselor important? A qualified counselor can serve as an impartial third party if you and your partner are open to working on your relationship. That means you can both voice your concerns without worry of a one-sided conversation. It’s important you find a counselor that meshes well with you and your partner, because you won’t click with everyone—even if they are qualified. Finding a therapist you trust from the beginning will make the process go more efficiently.

Couples therapy can also shed light on whether or not your own personal behaviors are having an effect on your marriage. Ultimately, finding the right marital counselor is essential for couples who want to improve their relationship and make it last. 

With professional couples counseling in Richmond, VA, like ours at Well Marriage Center, you can ensure you and your partner are meeting with a qualified professional. Well Marriage therapists take a strengths-based approach to counseling, which means you can focus first on what works in your relationship rather than what doesn’t. By focusing on a couples strengths first, we build an environment of teamwork that helps you tackle the tougher issues together.

Our intake coordinator can answer questions you may have about the training of our therapists, or you can visit our website and read about our Richmond and Short Pump therapists.

Should Married Couples See the Same Therapist?

Yes! Often it’s best for a married couple to see the same counselor throughout their marriage counseling sessions. (Sometimes they meet individually too!) What are the advantages of seeing the same therapist?

  • Increase your sense of connection with your partner and stay motivated during treatment.
  • Focus on your individual issues while simultaneously improving your relationship together.
  • Improve your ability to communicate and resolve issues with one another.
  • Work together to find a solution, rather than blaming one another or getting defensive.
  • Create a deeper connection with each other by starting empathetic conversations. 
  • Having an objective third party that can manage tough conversations and see the entire dynamic.

Overall, going to the same marriage counselor is the most helpful action for couples who want to improve their relationship and work through problems together. It’s important to find a counselor in Richmond who works well with both partners and can make sessions safe and supportive. If you’re looking for the best couples counseling in Richmond, VA, consider connecting with the professionals at Well Marriage Center.

What Is the Success Rate of Marriage Counseling?

Currently, the success rate of counseling for couples is around 75% and climbing as modern therapeutic techniques are being adopted. However, marriage counseling is about the work you put in as a couple and, unfortunately, a little over one third of marriages end in divorce within 4 years. But the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists states that 90% of couples who go through couples therapy feel more emotionally secure afterward and are glad they went through the process. Because of this, 98% of couples say that counseling was a positive experience. All of this is great news for couples willing to take the next step in securing or improving their relationship for the long term! 

Flourish with Marriage Counseling in Richmond & Short Pump, VA 

At Well Marriage Center, we offer counseling services in Richmond, so you can work on improving your relationship with your partner. Get in touch with us to arrange a meeting with one of our licensed counselors. Together, we’ll figure out how to make your relationship stronger and more satisfying based on your individual wants and goals. Take the first step towards a happier, healthier marriage today by contacting our intake coordinator, Melinda!

 

 

 



Marriage Counseling in Charlotte, NC

Scenario: You and your loved one are sauntering down the streets of Charlotte, NC and you happen to spot that beautiful restaurant you’ve yet to go to — like Bernardin’s at Ratcliffe. As you walk past the entrance and its undeniable romantic ambience, the question you’ve pondered before lingers. Why haven’t you gone yet? Instead of vocalizing this query to your partner, you continue to walk past the eatery and wonder what could have been, and resent that you rarely speak up.

This is just a small example of a much bigger problem: according to HuffPost, relationship communication is the #1 top contender that many couples struggle to master and nearly always leads to separation. Far too many partnerships end simply due to failure to productively communicate with one another. If you feel communicating with your partner is met with resistance, take a moment to read about the couples counseling Charlotte, NC has to offer, like ours at Well Marriage. 

Whatever reason you’re now searching for “Marriage counseling near me,” know there is hope! When two people are both willing to put in the work with a skilled relationship therapist, success rates are very high!  So even though divorce rates in Charlotte are among the highest in the country, we’re here to offer a better solution – and not only for communication issues, because our strengths-based model of therapy is built to help all relationship problems. We offer data-backed, modern therapy that helps with things like loss of love, trust, intimacy, and sex, as well as conflict management, individual support, and working through past traumas.

Now, let’s walk along the path to patching up your partnership!

How Successful Is Couples Therapy in Charlotte?

The success that comes from couples therapy understandably depends on you and your partner’s willingness and dedication to restoring the relationship. According to Psychology Today, couples therapy became 75% effective by 2017 and continues to climb.

There are often cases where a couple will refuse to address the issues in their partnership until things have fallen apart in a way that seems far too challenging to build back up without guidance. In any case, Well Marriage understands the resistance that comes with speaking up, so it’s important not to lose hope even if you feel it may be too late. Our therapists are experts at working with tough relationship issues.

What Is The Difference Between Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling?

Marital status is the only difference between marriage counseling and couples therapy, but nearly all other factors are identical. The primary goal of marriage counseling is to improve the overall relationship between married partners. 

Couples therapy, on the other hand, is a bit broader as it could easily include married and unmarried couples hoping to mend rough patches in their partnership or overcome longstanding issues. Identifying the sources of conflict in specific areas of a couple’s relationship and working toward solutions is the main goal for couples therapy. 

However, the two practices both aim to fix similar relationship-driven predicaments. This process often includes:

  • Addressing the conflict(s) and issues
  • Improving overall communication
  • Enhancing intimacy (both physically and emotionally)
  • Increasing the satisfaction of everyone in the relationship
  • Strengthening the bond

Having the ability to develop relationship habits that are healthier and more sustainable between you and your partner does not always come naturally. Marriage counseling and couples therapy is a great way to get started and it’s incredibly valuable, but often overlooked until things get extremely rocky. However, even when couples feel it may be too late, our therapists have focused their careers on relationship issues and can help anyone willing to put in the work deep therapy requires. 

We often refer to our work as “relational therapy” because our model helps married, unmarried, and non-traditional couples as well as families and individuals wanting to work through any issues around relationships that they may experience. 

Strengths-Based Couples Counseling

Well Marriage works to serve couples regardless of their legal relationship status with the help of strengths-based counseling. Strengths-based marriage counseling is a strategy used to pinpoint and highlight the strengths in a couple’s partnership, and we don’t suggest separation unless that is what both parties want. We aim to get individuals working as a team before we tackle the tough stuff.

Oftentimes in couples therapy, relationship specialists might start things off with the timeworn question—what seems to be the problem? Starting off your partnership rehabilitation process by laying out everything that isn’t working can cause tensions to rise, making it difficult to see that light at the end of the tunnel.

When you begin your journey to a mended romance, it might be worth it to focus on the things that are going right before you dive deeper into the things that are going left. We often start by asking things like, “what made you fall in love in the first place?”

How Much Does Therapy Cost Near Charlotte NC?

The cost of counseling in Charlotte NC can range anywhere between $200 and $500 monthly depending on the number and frequency of sessions, the issues being addressed, and the presence of insurance. Many couples find this an affordable alternative to the very real emotional and financial costs of separation – and we agree! Investing in your relationship has cascading benefits.

So, remember not to let costs deter you from worthy marriage or couples counseling! Consider these benefits when you give it a fair shot:

  • Resentment and conflict resolution
  • Removal of relationship doubts, blame, and defensiveness
  • Regained trust and intimacy with your partner
  • Fewer communication issues and healthier communication habits
  • Renewed and deeper commitment
  • Complete avoidance of separation or divorce and costs 

For information on fees and insurance reimbursements for therapy provided by Well Marriage, go here! We’re also happy to answer questions during our intake process.

How To Get Couples Therapy Covered By Insurance

We work hard at Well Marriage to make sure our out of pocket costs are in line with others in the area and accessible to clients. For those wanting or needing their sessions covered by insurance, it’s often a case-by-case situation; here’s a list of ways you could qualify:

  • Out-of-network reimbursement allows you to use private insurance.
  • Insurance companies often require a mental health diagnosis such as anxiety, depression, PTSD
  • Occasionally, couples therapy falls under family therapy. If your insurance provider offers family therapy, they could also offer couples therapy.

Bottom line, you should check with your insurance provider as well as the couples therapist you’re planning to work with for confirmation on what can and can’t be accepted. 

Is Marriage Counseling Covered By Insurance? Similar to insurance for couples therapy, the answer is both yes and no depending on whether or not you have private insurance to cover some of the costs of marriage counseling.

Regardless of cost or insurance coverage, it’s crucial to go with someone who is specifically trained and licensed in marriage or couples counseling. The more experience a therapist has in relational issues, the better they can help you!

What Is The Best Kind of Marriage Counselor?

Aside from having a license and the right experience, the best kind of marriage counselor is one that you and your life partner can both connect with positively. Experience and relevant training is still the number one factor, however, as our therapists will pull techniques from many methods to create a custom approach for your unique relationship needs. That’s why Well Marriage Center offers counseling from licensed specialists in a variety of locations. It’s time to mend the cracks in the road to relationship recovery. Get started on your path to a healthier relationship today!

 

 

 

How Do You Know if Your Marriage Needs Counseling?

Many couples see marriage counseling as a last resort or as something that is only for “failed relationships,” but this perception couldn’t be farther from the truth! Couples therapy can help strengthen relationships in any stage or under any amount of stress. Whether you’re preparing to move in together, planning a wedding, or celebrating the arrival of your third child, couples therapy can help find small cracks and fix them before they spread. Or if you and your partner are facing major challenges, couples counseling can help you overcome them together.

One of the best marriage counseling tips is to get started sooner rather than later. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, after all. In this article, we’ll go over some of the common signs that you and your partner should consider couples therapy. Let’s dive in.

Do We Need Marriage Counseling?

Relationships are hard. Sometimes, we need an outside perspective to separate us from frustrations and look at the bigger picture. Working with a marriage counselor gives you access to their outside perspective, their  experience in healing relationships, and their desire to use their skills towards the best outcome for you and your partner.

Seeking the help of a marriage counselor can have four key benefits, helping you and your partner to:

  1. Identify the root causes of your relationship issues and negative feelings
  2. Resolve budding issues before they grow into major problems 
  3. Actively pursue self-improvement that helps your relationship
  4. Rekindle your relationship and deepen intimacy

How Often Should Couples Go to Therapy?

While there is no set amount of time that couples therapy can last for, most couples attend therapy for 4-10 months. During the duration of their therapy, couples typically attend 2-4 sessions per month.

However, when scheduling your couples therapy sessions, it’s important to remember that each couple is unique. How long it takes for you and your partner to see results and how often you find it beneficial to attend sessions can—and often will—vary greatly from other couples. 

How Do You Know When Your Marriage Needs Help?

You and your partner don’t have to wait for a catastrophe to start attending marriage counseling. In fact, marriage counseling works well as preventive care. If you identify problems while they’re small, you can overcome them together before they threaten the stability of your relationship. Early counseling  also helps couples plan and achieve their common goals and sets a solid foundation for the rest of your journey.

Of course, marriage counseling can also be extremely valuable even in the hardest of times for your relationship.

Whichever stage your relationship is in, here are some of the most common signs that you and your partner could benefit from marriage counseling:

  • You have mismatched desires for intimacy: Emotional and physical intimacy can enhance relationships when both partners are on the same page for what they prefer to give and receive. However, if one partner has expectations that the other partner doesn’t fulfill, it can cause frustrations for both people. Marriage counseling can help each partner communicate their desire for giving and receiving intimacy and help couples rekindle their desire for intimacy they felt early on in the relationship.

  • You are holding onto hidden feelings of resentment or bitterness: Bottled up feelings hurt the person holding them and can go unnoticed by their partner until they erupt into negative actions. Marriage counseling gives couples a safe space to express their feelings, so they can work with their partner on ways to resolve what causes those feelings of resentment and bitterness. 

  • You avoid spending social time together: It’s important for each partner to maintain their own life and sense of identity. Too much codependency can place an unreasonable burden on someone to provide everything for their partner. However, having little to no connection outside of the home can also be a sign of trouble. Marriage counseling provides an opportunity for couples to analyze why they prefer spending so much time apart and look for ways they can integrate portions of their social life. 

  • You have arguments that are lasting, unresolved, and repetitive: Arguments are a part of every relationship, and in many cases, they are a healthy way to communicate boundaries and come to a resolution. However, arguments that come up again and again can be a sign of underlying issues. Marriage counseling can help couples get to the root of repetitive arguments, so they can settle those disputes and come out stronger for it. 

  • You feel the need to keep major and minor secrets: Keeping important things from your partner—like major financial decisions—can ruin the trust in a relationship. While this may seem obvious to many couples, it’s also important to be honest about the little things, too, like friendships and where you spend your time when you’re away from your partner. Marriage counseling can help couples uncover why they feel the need to keep both major and minor secrets, and develop a plan to share those secrets to be more honest going forward. 

  • You lack the ability to communicate without fear: Relationships need communication to remain healthy, but sometimes, one or both partners find it hard to express what they’re feeling. Fear of embarrassment, not being understood, or negative repercussions (like shouting or violence) can keep individuals from expressing what they’re actually feeling. Marriage counseling creates a space in which each partner can voice what they’re feeling, while a counselor moderates the conversation so each party can be heard, safe, and understood. 

If you feel that something isn’t right in your relationship, it may be tempting to find reasons not to go to therapy. These reasons are often rooted in uncertainty, so let’s take a closer look at why someone might not want to go to couples therapy:

Can a Marriage Be Saved Without Counseling?

In some situations, a couple can save their marriage without counseling if they have the tools to improve their relationship and the dedication to see the process through. However, it’s often beneficial to work with a professional because they have experience working through the types of problems that you’re going through. It can also be beneficial to meet with an impartial third party for an unbiased perspective.

A common fear—and reason that some people avoid counseling—is that a marriage counselor could encourage divorce. However, at Well Marriage Center, our counselors are marriage-positive and do not recommend divorce. We believe that your relationship is worth saving, can be saved, and we’ll be with you every step of the way.

How Do You Know If It’s Too Late for Marriage Counseling?

It’s never too late for marriage counseling unless either you or your partner no longer wish to stay together. One of the reasons that couples may avoid counseling is because they don’t want to be told that it’s too late to heal their relationship. However, the fact that both members don’t want their relationship to end is a really good sign that it can be saved. Marriage counselors can provide the tools, space, and consistency for couples to recommit to their relationship and find ways to improve it together.

Find a Way Forward with Well Marriage Center

If your relationship feels tense, stale, or disconnected, it doesn’t mean it’s time to call it quits. Instead, consider working with a couples therapist to find ways to heal and rekindle your relationship. You want your relationship to succeed, and at Well Marriage Center, our professionals do, too. 

Give your relationship the time, space, and chance to recover. Visit our website to learn more, and if you’re ready to sign up, fill out our Intake Form to get started. 




Long Winter of Marriage

Written by Glen Denlinger

The wind is blowing here at the Well Marriage Center office again and fellow marriage therapist, Mary Baker, tells me the high tomorrow is not expected to even hit 30 degrees. I caught myself referring to this season as “Old Man Winter,” the personification my own father used to use when winter stayed too long. It has been too long. We all feel it.

Couples feel it.

Marriages feel it.

“Winter” has become a theme and analogy for some of the demanding work many couples are investing in right now. I thought I would share a quick story and analogy…

Meet Tim and Cindy

Tim and Cindy are a couple I’ve been guiding through therapy for a few months now. They’re experiencing their own “marital winter” – years of hurts and disillusionment have brought them to this difficult season. They said marriage counseling was their last hope.

They had a choice: stay together and do the difficult work or split apart. We spent time processing that decision, a decision only they could make. I was reminded of an analogy from Dr. William Doherty, a prominent name in the marriage counseling field. He’s from Minnesota and he talks about long-term marriage using his Minnesota winters for context. He points out that we all move into marriage in the springtime of hope, but eventually get to winter with its chill and darkness. Many couples are tempted to move south at this point and give up. The problem with giving up, he points out, is that your next marriage will eventually hit its own winter at some point. So do we just give up, or do we make our stand with this person, in this season?

Cindy and Tim decided that they wanted to stand together, but they were both scared and unsure. Like Dr. Doherty, I recognized my role as being a guide to help them “cling together as a couple, warming each other against the cold of their winter and seeking out whatever sunlight was still available while they wrestled with their pain and disillusionment.” It’s a powerful privilege…the role we marriage counselors provide.

The good news is that winter does break and spring does come. Often marriages can experience this same hope.

We experienced marriage counselors know how incredible and magnificent that spring can be for couples who have done the demanding work winter requires.

Tim and Cindy are on their way…and that’s my message of hope for couples during this, Old Man Winter’s, one last gasp.


 

Good Marriage Counselor

6 months ago Roger and Dianne called me to discuss some difficulties they’ve been experiencing during their 12 year marriage.  At the end of our conversation Roger told me, “Glen, we’ve already been to 2 marriage counselors. This whole process has been more frustrating than it should be. I like your experience and I like what I read about Well Marriage Center, so we’re inclined to give this one more chance, but we’re pretty vulnerable here.  Why is a good marriage counselor so hard to find?”

“Why is a good marriage counselor so hard to find?”

I told Roger I appreciated his candor and I could understand his frustration. And I could. I’m always disappointed to hear when couples can’t find the help they need when they’re open and ready for it.  Unfortunately, Roger and Dianne aren’t alone. We often get calls from couples who have been to one or two counselors before at some point during their relationship. Their frustration is palpable.  So why is a good marriage counselor so hard to find and what can you look for when searching out the good ones?

I’m a big fan of Malcolm Gladwell – brilliant thinker, researcher, and writer.  In his best-selling book Outliers, Gladwell makes the convincing case that to truly become an expert in your field requires a devotion to your craft of at least 10,000 hours. I love this premise…I think those of us working towards and achieving that “expert” label understand at a deep level how much we’ve learned and how much we still have to learn. And it’s not just experience…it’s how often are you practicing this craft and how quickly are you building towards those 10,000 hours.

One of my biggest excitements about starting Well Marriage Center was that we could focus 100% on relationships. We could devote 100% of our energy, effort, research, and training to couples. Imagine how you can help couples with that kind of attention! While most therapists offer marriage counseling on the side, we could offer marriage counseling as what we do exclusively…100% of the time! I think this is something to pay attention to when looking for the best marriage counselors. How do they spend their “hours” each week and are they building to those 10,000?

The happy ending for Roger and Dianne is that we were able to give them the help they needed. Their marriage is doing remarkably well and we’re celebrating their success with them!

Marriage counseling is an art form in which the counselor helps guide the couple through (often) sticky, messy, and intense emotions and dynamics…all while holding the hope for their relationship. It’s an intricate dance and I hope you trust only the best to help you navigate your most primary and intimate relationship. The good news at Well Marriage Center – we’re all either above that 10,000 hour mark or building quickly and exclusively towards it!  We’re all specialist here…

Our Counselors


You CAN Save Your Marriage

My granddaughter, age 3, encountered a see-saw (teeter-totter) for the first time last weekend. She literally giggled out loud with how easily she could move up and down with her 2 year old brother (who was being carefully supported by their mother) on the other end. It was all fun and games…until grandpa sat down on the other end.

Of course I balanced my weight at first so we could each go up and down. But after a little bit, this grandpa got tired and needed a quick break. I sat. I was heavy. Seeing my granddaughter confused, stuck high on the other end of this tiny see-saw, made me think of the confused look many couples that see me often have:

“Wait, what happened?”  “How did we get stuck?”
More importantly, “Can and how do we get down (unstuck)?”

Positive Override

Marriages begin with what renowned and leading marriage/couple psychologist Dr. John Gottman describes as a high, positive “set” point. It’s almost like the default position of the relationship. No matter what, most things are seen and experienced through this default lens. When the positive “set” point is high, couples are less likely to interpret things critically, or as a personal attack, or believe their relationship can ever be derailed. It takes far more negativity to harm your relationship than if your set point were lower.

Negative Override – when marriages gets heavy

But over time, anger, irritations, and resentment can build to the point that it’s like being a 3 year old on a See Saw with a tired grandfather. It can build for 2 years, or 5 years, or even 20 years, but if that balance tilts, and you slip from positive override into negative override, then everything begins to be interpreted more and more negatively. Marriage gets heavy.  Words said in a neutral tone get interpreted negatively. You interpret your spouse and your relationship more and more negatively. You think you’ve married the wrong person – or a person who is completely different than who you initially married. You get stuck. It’s as if there is a boulder on the other end of the see-saw. It’s no fun and in fact toxic.  And then you want to get off the See Saw and play with another toy.

Bottom line: Can I Save My Marriage?

I’ve been doing couples counseling for over 25 years now and what I can tell you is this: there is hope and there is good news for your relationship!   I’ve helped thousands of couples re-learn how to live and think in a way that notices what is strong and desirable about their partner and marriage, to tilt the balance of their relationship back into their favor. Couples who have completely lost hope have been amazed at this approach. I’ll be honest: it’s not as easy or simple as it might sound.  You’ll want an experienced guide or coach helping you figure out the steps and avenues to make it happen in your particular situation with your unique dynamic. But I’ve seen so many couples who thought they were done find renewed love, commitment, and a better relationship with each other. I believe it’s possible for you too!

Do yourself a favor: find a counselor or coach who works from a strengths-based, positive approach. Find a counselor or coach who is going to get in there with you and be active with you, someone who can help you work through some of the causes and pressure points of negativity in a way that relieves and revives your marriage instead of harming it, someone who is going to work with you to discern the steps and activities your specific relationships need to get itself back into positive override!