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Marriage Counseling in Cary NC

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Would it surprise you to learn that in 2022, over 75,000 marriages took place in North Carolina? That’s a lot of marriages, no two of which are exactly the same. Every relationship—especially one between two married folks—encounters its own speed bumps along the way.

Sometimes, couples can work through anything that life throws at them—and sometimes they think they can, but they really need a little guidance and support to get through the rougher patches.

If you’re in North Carolina searching for “marriage counseling near me,” or “best couples therapists” you’re not alone. The state’s divorce rate ranks 12th in the nation (though the rate itself—3.2 divorces per 1,000 residents—isn’t far off of the national median rate).

If there’s one factor that tends to separate the couples that make it through their roughest patches, it’s a commitment to improving their relationship communication, learning how to address conflict patterns, and committing to growing their trust and intimacy. By addressing their communication styles and these other dynamics, they can increase their levels of understanding and empathy with each other and rediscover the happiness in their marriage. And when we say “marriage counseling,” we also mean “couples therapy,” because we’re here to support all people in their relationships.

Here we answer a few of the most common questions we hear from North Carolinians who seek out marriage counseling in order to rediscover the spark in their relationship.

What Is the Success Rate of Marriage Counseling?

If you’re trying to determine whether marriage counseling is worth it, consider these statistics:

Obviously, there’s no such thing as a sure thing, but these figures should be encouraging. The wide range in estimated success rates underscores the importance of finding the right type of therapist for a couple’s needs.

As the fields of emotional development, trauma healing, brain science, attachment theory, and others continue to grow, so does the science of couples therapy.

What Type of Therapist Is Best for Marriage Counseling?

While no two therapists are identical, the best ones will…

  • Specialize in couples therapy and/or marriage counseling.
  • Apply evidence-based couples therapy models tailored to their clients’ specific needs. 
  • Take a strengths-based approach to counseling.
  • Have additional certifications in areas like infidelity, communication, trauma, sex, etc.

Why are these factors so vital? Let’s briefly explore each.

Specialization | While other types of therapists can certainly help individuals to better navigate issues within the relationship, the best results come from both parties working together. Therapists who specialize in couples therapy and/or marriage counseling will bring a finely-tuned skill set into the equation, increasing the chances of success.

An Evidence-Based Approach | Therapists who apply evidence-based couples therapy models leverage techniques based on scientific evidence and results—rather than, say, making it up as they go.

A Strengths-Based Approach | For a majority of couples, focusing on the positives is much more encouraging and constructive than dwelling on the negatives. By focusing on the positive aspects of the relationship first and working from there, couples can rediscover their spark, improve their communication patterns, and build toward a brighter shared future! The purpose of the strengths-based approach is to get the individuals in a relationship working as a team so the deeper issues can be addressed more efficiently.

How Much Does Marriage Counseling Cost in North Carolina?

While the price of counseling shouldn’t deter you from seeking help, it’s certainly a valid question. So, how much does marriage counseling cost? At Well Marriage CenterCounseling, our general rates for North Carolina residents are around $175-$195 per session. 

All too often, though, the assumed price point of marriage counseling deters couples from taking this important step in their relationship, so let’s consider these costs another way. Our clients often start with weekly one-on-one sessions, and then progress to every-other-week and then monthly sessions together, and spend a total of 5-10 months receiving our services.

That comes out to around $375 to $475 per month. Take the high end of that range and multiply it by 10 months of services, it comes out to less than $5,000. If that sounds like a lot, consider that in North Carolina, the average cost of a divorce is nearly $13,000. Divorce and separation have other costs as well, including emotional, family, and sometimes even work or friends. At Well Marriage, we think it’s worth the effort to improve relationships – we have seen the benefits in thousands of couples!

Additionally, we offer premarital or dating therapies in the hope that couples can build a relationship that is solid, happy, and set for long-term success. Starting your journey on the same page helps couples achieve their life goals together, manage conflict in healthy ways, and deepen intimacy over time.

How Much Is Couples Therapy with Insurance?

While couples therapy or marriage counseling are not typically covered by standard insurance plans, Well Marriage Center is considered to be an “out-of-network” provider. This is an important designation that means half or more of our clients are able to seek out at least partial reimbursement (anywhere from 25% to 95%).

You can learn more about what to expect by reading our Fees and Insurance FAQ or by contacting your insurance provider.

How Much Is Couples Therapy without Insurance?

Without insurance coverage, Well Marriage Center’sCounseling’s base rates—$175 to $195—apply. That being said, if you don’t have standard insurance but do work for an employer who offers an Employee Assistance Program (EAP), then couples therapy or marriage counseling may be covered. Also, if one partner has employer-provided insurance but the other doesn’t, you may be able to work with your therapist to bill the sessions under the covered individual’s benefits.

North Carolinians, There Is Hope!

At Well Marriage Center, our team of licensed professionals is ready to help. Whether you’re looking for standard marriage counseling options, individual therapy, or relationship wellness programs, start with Well Marriage Center. We provide marriage counseling and couples therapy in Cary, NC—as well as Charlotte, Wilmington, and several other states in the region. We also have a team of virtual therapists who are ready to work with you.

Take the first step today by either connecting with us through our Intake Coordinator, who will help you navigate the process of finding a therapist, or by using our online Therapist Calendar Form.

 

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Communication Problems

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From the Therapists Perspective

Written by Michael Fronce, LMFT

Jeff and Cindy came to their first marriage counseling session anxious to repair their 15 year relationship. The session started like most, me getting to know them and learning a bit more about their story.

As we explored their marital strengths it was clear they deeply loved each other, but that love was now being questioned by each of them. They explained they had not been able to communicate about anything except logistics.

Cindy swore Jeff did not have the ability to communicate at all. She complained about his avoidance of important issues. While she was voicing her frustration, he rolled his eyes and sighed. He said she was blowing things out of proportion and that he knows how to communicate. He was sick of how often she interrupted and didn’t listen.

Jeff said he felt like he was never going to please his wife so he admitted to withdrawing from conversations. They both wanted me to get the other to communicate better.

Jeff and Cindy had made a good decision to reach out for help. These things fester. Communication problems are one of the most common concerns that bring couples to Well Marriage for marriage counseling.

When we’re able to catch these communication blocks early, we’re often able to help the couple avoid the more toxic and deeper level problems that come years down the road if left unchecked.

The good news is our counselors have the experience and training to be helpful. While there are often underlying issues that play a part in some communication breakdowns (which would be an entirely different blog post), I often find myself starting by helping couples practice the skills of effective communication. It’s helpful to see where they are and what they already know. This is what I did with Jeff and Cindy.

Now the movies and TV comedies give practicing communication skills a bad rap. I get it, no one wants to simply be told to say a lot of “I statements” and repeat back what the other person is saying.

You’re right, that doesn’t fix communication problems. However, I’m often surprised by how a simple intervention or solution can indeed become the impetus for change.

I was looking for just that type of impetus for change when I gave Jeff and Cindy a task early in our communication work. They shared about how one of their rituals is to go to a certain fast food establishment for dinner. So I invited them to dinner. Well, I should say that I invited them to pay attention in a different way next time they went for dinner.

Their task was to observe how the person at the counter took their order. When they came back to the next session, they were excited to talk with me about what they saw.

The server greeted Jeff and Cindy warmly, asked how he could serve them and then listened to their order. He busily punched the order into the system and then did something a little strange.

They noticed that the server repeated back their order to make sure that he had it correct. He then asked if there was anything else that they would like. He then proceeded to check their order again before moving on and telling them the cost.

After the order was confirmed and the payment was made, the server thanked the couple. So simple, yet for them it made an impression.

They appreciated the way that the server listened to them, took the time to get their order right, and did not move on until he was sure that he had heard it correctly and that it was what the couple wanted.

That’s what they each desired from the other. They missed being truly heard and respected. Here’s the important breakthrough part: they both began looking at what they, individually, had been doing to keep them from communicating effectively.

They each began talking about ways they would like to focus on each other, listen to each other, and truly hear each other. That led them into Jeff’s withdrawing (Cindy felt abandoned and got anxious). Cindy would then over pursue Jeff to calm her anxiety (which then had Jeff withdrawing again).

So we explored this cycle and ways to interrupt it. Effective communication helped! They began making such incredible positive progress about the deeper level issues that were affecting their relationship.

The good news – Jeff and Cindy both began to find each other again, connect with each other again, and experience a closeness they hadn’t felt in years, all through working on communication problems in couples therapy.


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