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How Long Is Too Long for Couples Therapy?

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It can be intimidating and scary to join the 49% of couples who attend marriage counseling (or to be part of the 52% who are interested in trying it). Whether you’re currently going to sessions or considering starting, you may be wondering how long this process will take. What’s the average length of marriage counseling? Can you stay in couples therapy too long? 

Don’t worry! All your questions will be answered. From our experience working with over 15,000 couples here at Well Marriage Center, we know that the topic of couples counseling can be sensitive, especially when the stakes feel so high. Let’s get started with some of the most common questions about couples counseling. 

Note: At Well Marriage Center, we use the terms “marriage counseling,” “couples counseling,” and “couples therapy” interchangeably, and we offer our services to any couple—regardless of their marital status. The term “marriage” can be exclusionary or uncomfortable, and we aim to provide an environment that’s welcoming to all couples. What matters most is you, your relationship, and your desire to rediscover joy with your partner.

How Long Do Couples Usually Go to Therapy?

In general, the average length of couples therapy that we see at Well Marriage Center is 12-25 sessions. This takes place over the course of 4 to 10 months. However, the specific number of how many marriage counseling sessions are needed will be determined by your therapist, your unique relationship, and how you and your partner are progressing. Each individual session is typically around the 50 minute mark, although this will vary depending on your therapist.

How Long Is Too Long for Marriage Counseling?

There really isn’t an exact answer to this question because every relationship is different, and every marriage counseling provider has a different approach based on each couple’s unique needs. It’s also important to keep the end goal in mind: a healthy, thriving relationship. Couples therapy is typically designed to be a shorter-term commitment, as opposed to individual therapy, which many people benefit from attending for years. If you’re worried about  couples therapy dragging on forever, be sure to ask your provider about the timeline. 

If you’re feeling like you have been in couples therapy for too long, be sure to consider if you have met your end goal. Have you and your partner learned and implemented communication skills? Are there any unresolved trust or commitment issues lingering? Have you addressed the problems that brought you to couples counseling in the first place? Has your therapist given any guidelines or suggested a potential end goal?

If you and your partner are confident that you have met your end goal, then it’s definitely appropriate to have a conversation with your counselor about wrapping up your sessions. However, if there is still work to be done, then you may want to consider trying a different approach or provider. 

How Long To Try Marriage Counseling Before Divorce

Here at Well Marriage, our focus is on helping couples find their way back to each other. When you’re in the midst of a relationship with serious challenges, we know it can feel overwhelming or even impossible to heal and restore things. But rest assured—there is hope! Our counselors practice pro-relationship counseling, an approach that prioritizes the revitalization of your relationship. We’ve seen so many couples who are convinced they are on the road to splitting up realize through the process of couples therapy that their journey together isn’t over yet. 

When To Stop Marriage Counseling

No matter if you call it “marriage counseling” or “couples therapy,” the fact is that your sessions are not going to last forever. There will come a point where you and your partner have learned how to communicate better and are building a healthy relationship together. In general, look for signs that marriage counseling is working: 

  • You and your partner don’t have as much conflict
  • You have great communication strategies in place (and are practicing them!)
  • You’ve settled on realistic solutions to issues
  • Your relationship is happier and healthier

Your goals will vary, of course, and it’s also a fantastic idea to talk with your counselor about when to stop marriage counseling. After all, they want the same thing that you do—a thriving relationship. The goal of couples therapy isn’t to stay in couples therapy forever, so it’s completely appropriate to ask your therapist about the process and what signals they look for. 

Is It Worth Going to Couples Therapy?

Absolutely! In fact, we think it’s one of the most beneficial steps you can take for your relationship. We believe that almost every relationship can be transformed into a vibrant partnership, as long as both people are willing to put in the work. 

Often people ask things like, “can couples therapy save my relationship?” It’s important to remember that there are so many variables involved, and every relationship will be different. Because of this, it’s difficult to properly assess the effectiveness of couples therapy and impossible to answer this question with a direct yes or no. However, one study found that going through couples counseling can improve outcomes for couples, like relationship satisfaction, communication skills, and general well-being. 

Well Marriage: Couples Therapy Customized for You

Through our experiences at Well Marriage Center, we’ve seen incredible results time after time. We specialize in couples and use a variety of techniques to meet the needs of each unique relationship. Our counselors use empirically-backed approaches and interventions like:

  • Dr. Ellyn Bader – Developmental Model of Couples Therapy (our personal favorite)
  • Dr. John Gottman – Gottman Institute
  • Dr. Sue Johnson – Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
  • Dr. Harville Hendrix – Imago Therapy
  • Dr. Esther Perel – Eroticism and Desire
  • Dr. Terry Real – Relational Life Institute

We’ll work closely with you to make sure that your couples therapy is the right length and uses techniques that are fitted to your relationship goals and challenges.  If you’re interested in learning more, we invite you to privately explore our website and learn more about what we offer, where we’re located, and what our services cost. 


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How Long Do Couples Usually Go to Counseling?

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Challenging issues  in a relationship can be tough to work through on your own. And research tells us that it takes over two and a half years before couples attempt to address their concerns through marriage counseling. But is counseling really worth it? The Journal of Marital and Family Therapy estimates that the marriage counseling success rate is about 70% and, in some instances, the longer you attend counseling, the higher your chances of success. Of course, the average length of marriage counseling is different for every couple, but ultimately you should expect 10 – 25 sessions for success. Each counseling plan should be tailored to your specific needs. 

At Well Marriage Center, we believe that creating a customized plan around your goals can help you and your significant other discover a renewed, more mature, intimacy and partnership. In this blog, we’re going to talk about marriage counseling (also known as couples therapy) and how long you should expect your sessions to last. 

How Long Does Couples Therapy Take to Work?

Couples therapy lasts between 10 and 25 sessions on average. A typical therapy plan will most likely have you attend more frequently at the beginning of your counseling (around once a week) and lessen over time (to around once a month). Depending on your progress, the number of sessions will be determined by your therapist. After deciding what would be beneficial for you as a couple and what your end goals are, counseling could last up to a  few years to complete successfully. Don’t let this be daunting, however. Healing and growing  your marriage takes commitment, but has proven successful for over 12,000 couples with Well Marriage CenterOne of the biggest predictors of marriage counseling success is the experience of your therapist, and our therapists have devoted their careers to helping couples like you.

To make the most of your time, you should follow these actions to increase the likelihood of success:

  1. Set personal goals to: 
  • Address what you’re bringing to the table
  • How they impact your relationship
  • What steps you can take to acknowledge your shortcomings
  • Ways to change your behaviors. 

Marriage counseling is not  a place to point fingers at your partner. Remember that they will be taking the same steps as you.Reliving blame can perpetuate toxic cycles instead of finding a way forward.

  1. Find vulnerability in the safe space so you can be open and honest about how you’re feeling. Holding back feelings of anger, annoyance, resentment, helplessness, and embarrassment helps no one—especially yourself. Telling your partner how you feel might open new doors for stronger communication.
  2. Give the benefit of the doubt and don’t assume your partner is being insincere or dishonest. Part of accepting and acknowledging this is recognizing your intentions and insecurities. 
  3. Understand that partnership isn’t making each other whole. Be a “whole” person independent of your significant other. Relying on your partner to meet all of your needs for happiness puts a lot of pressure on them, which can lead to anger and resentment, rather than love and support.
  4. Put in the time and effort your partnership requires. Rather than counting down the sessions, go into each one with an open mind and willingness to participate. You won’t find success without putting in the work.

When it comes to marriage counseling and what to expect, Well Marriage Center likes to address the following first: 

  • interrupt toxic cycles you may be stuck in (arguments, high conflict, blame game, criticisms)
  • generate a little momentum and spark (disconnected, sexless couples, cold relationships)
  • address trauma that your relationship may be experiencing (infidelity, loss, old or new trauma)

Making progress with these goals are significant signs marriage counseling is working. Seeing improvement is great! Depending on your goals as a couple and as individuals, you may work out a longer plan with your therapist.  You should  expect to attend all of the sessions laid out in your initial settings as part of your larger plan to really introduce and implement new techniques in your relationship and make sure they stick.

Is Couples Counseling a Bad Thing?

Absolutely not! Attending counseling does not mean your partnership has failed, it means you want it to succeed. Couples counseling is an important solution to working through issues with your partner. While we would all like to avoid confronting the faults in our relationship, marriage counseling can be a beneficial and positive experience. Not only that, but investing in couples counseling is important to show you’re committed to making the relationship work. A good therapist will make you feel comfortable as a couple with a safe space to voice your feelings and guide you through any rough patches you might encounter. Counseling can be difficult, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it.

It’s also important to note that therapy can still be a resource after the initial reasons for visiting are resolved. After therapy, many couples work yearly visits with their therapist into their long term plans to promote commitment, accountability, and communication. Going to therapy while the relationship is in a good place can be beneficial too, as it lays positive groundwork for the future. As part of our mission to help all couples build a better future together, Well Marriage Center even offers therapeutic premarital and dating services for those who are in committed relationships regardless of their legal status.

Marriage Counseling Built for You

At Well Marriage Center, we know marriage counseling actually works and we have the numbers to prove it! Even in situations when the couple believed it would be too late or the relationship was too damaged, we’ve seen therapy turn it around in thousands of our clients. We make time for you to work through your strengths and weaknesses as a couple so we can learn about you and help us develop a plan specifically for you. 

If you’re ready to take the next steps for your marriage, visit our website. You can get started by filling out our intake form and getting in contact with our intake coordinator, Melinda. 


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How Long Does Marriage Counseling Take?

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How much time would you be willing to spend a week to get a happier, healthier, more enriching relationship with your spouse or partner? Marriage counseling sessions typically take around 50 minutes per session, with the  average length of marriage counseling  totaling 12-25 conversations over the course of a few months. The return on this time can be transformative and Well Marriage Center is here to answer all your questions about the timing and length of marriage counseling. Here’s what you need to know!

But First…Couples Therapy vs Marriage Counseling

Before we dig into how long marriage counseling takes, we want to clarify that we do not see a difference between couples therapy and marriage counseling. We create a safe space for every relationship to be built, healed, or restored, regardless of if there is a legal marriage or a different style of commitment. Whether you call it marriage counseling, couples therapy, or some other combination of terms, the goals of reducing conflict, restoring intimacy and trust, and developing better communication are the same. Whatever type of committed relationship you are in, our team has dedicated their careers to helping couples build a better foundation for the future. 

When To Go To Couples Therapy

When a relationship is already going through challenges, setting aside time each week for couples therapy can feel like a big ask. Often, couples choose to look in the other direction and hope the phase will pass instead of seeking targeted help for long-term problems. When these issues reach a breaking point,  often the best option is couples therapy. In fact, if you’re thinking you might need therapy, it might be time to schedule an initial session. But when should you put it on the calendar? It’s important to choose a time that can regularly work for you, your partner, and your mutual schedules. If you can schedule a recurring appointment for the same time and weekday, then nurturing your relationship starts to become a healthy part of your routine more naturally. 

How Often Should You Go To Couples Therapy?

At Well Marriage Center, we recommend our couples start with weekly therapy sessions. This allows participants to start forming better habits and addressing issues in an environment of supportive accountability. After the first few sessions have laid a foundation for progress and determined your end goals as a couple, you may agree to start meeting bi-monthly, and eventually once a month or even less. This gradual decline in the number of sessions you need to attend is supported by better daily experiences in the relationship as the lessons from therapy take root and help you grow together in the right direction. However, every couple is different. Some may decide to further benefit from prolonged therapy  to truly heal and resolve relationship traumas. You should go to couples therapy for as long as it feels supportive and beneficial towards your relationship goals. 

How Long Does Couples Therapy Take To Work?

Couples generally attend between 12-25 sessions of therapy before they arrive at a place where they are satisfied with their growth. However, that doesn’t mean it takes 12 sessions for therapy to show any results. Week to week, you and your partner will be following techniques and activities in your daily life to reinforce what you have discussed with your therapist. As you grow and get more in tune through doing the work, the benefits will show up along the journey.

You’ll focus on identifying and honoring the strengths that still exist within your relationship, as well as set goals for communication, conflict resolution, and moving forward. Through these techniques, therapy can begin to reset negative or toxic patterns in your relationship from the first session onward. For some couples, these small, foundational changes may take longer to emerge because every relationship is unique. You can always talk to your therapist about your goals and timelines during a session. 

Some couples are concerned about how long marriage counseling takes to work in specific situations, like at the beginning of a marriage or when it is at risk of ending. Here are some more specific answers to common questions. 

Should You Go To Couples Therapy Before Marriage?

Investing in a pre-marriage therapy program is an excellent way to get your married life off to a strong start. Even though marriage is an exciting time of hope and planning for the future, it can also feel uncertain, overwhelming, and even confusing based on past events in the relationship. During our pre-marital program, you will meet with a Well Marriage Center therapist for as many sessions as you agree on. These conversations will be dedicated to your personal histories and dating story, any current concerns about the relationship, and the goals and plans you have set for the future. 

One thing that makes our pre-marital program unique is that we meet twice again after you are married, once around the six-month point and once around your one-year anniversary. This establishes a few neutral touchpoints for you and your new spouse to check in around goals and discuss anything new that has arisen after the knot is tied. 

Does Marriage Counseling Work After Separation? 

Yes, marriage counseling can work for both the couple and an individual after separation. It depends on the goals you have moving forward from the separation. If you want to reconcile and heal the relationship, marriage counseling provides a neutral opportunity to talk about what has gone wrong in the short-term and how it has impacted the long-term relationship. At Well Marriage Center, we practice pro-relationship counseling, seeking to heal and restore your relationship along with you even when you aren’t sure it’s possible. On the other hand, there might be no way to reconcile, but one or both parties need support adjusting to life outside of marriage. A licensed marriage counselor can also help with this, empowering you to figure out what went wrong in the relationship and help you avoid repeating similar issues in the future. Whether you want to fix the separation or heal yourself on the other side, marriage counseling can help. 

Well Marriage Center Helps You Keep Healing

The relationship specialists at Well Marriage Center are committed to helping you restore your relationship with each session you invest. They’ve dedicated their entire careers to helping couples just like you, whether you hope to be done with marriage counseling in just 12 sessions, or you think 25 doesn’t sound like enough. The good news is that you and your partner set the pace and get to have input about how many sessions you think you need. Whether we see you every week or once a month, we want you to leave each meeting feeling like you achieved something together and know what to work on next. That’s how healing happens–one day at a time, slowly but surely. We’re here to stick with you throughout the journey! Set up a conversation with our Intake Coordinator, Melinda, to share a little bit about where your relationship is at and where you want to go.


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What Percentage of Marriages Survive After Counseling?

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If you’re struggling in your relationship, you might be considering marriage counseling—also known as couples therapy. But marriage counseling can be daunting to consider because of what you don’t know about the process. If you’re afraid of what marriage counseling might involve, you’re not alone.

Thankfully, as the nation’s largest couples specialty center, we have decades of studies and feedback from couples themselves. You might be relieved to know that a significant majority of couples say counseling is a good experience and offers a way to recover their marriages. Taking this major step with your partner is so successful, in fact, that your progress in repairing and rejuvenating your relationship is almost guaranteed if you put in the effort. We’ve seen it in the 15,000+ couples we’ve helped since we founded in 2008.

Well Marriage Center marriage counseling helps your relationship transition from a tense situation to a healthier, more productive partnership. In this blog, we’re going to talk about therapy statistics, marriage counseling and how we know it works. 

 

 

What Percentage of Marriages Work After Counseling?

According to the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, the success rate of marriage counseling is around 70%. Another statistic from the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists states 90% of couples who complete therapy with a highly trained couples therapist report an increase in their emotional well-being. Generally the results vary depending on the therapist, but between 70-90% of couples find couples therapy beneficial. Beyond that, approximately two-thirds report an improvement in their general physical well-being as well.

It’s important to note that with more sessions comes more success. While most counselors offer an average of 12 sessions as a standard therapeutic plan,  65.6% of the cases are completed within 20 sessions and and an additional 22.3% within 50 sessions. What this high marriage counseling success rate tells us is that, while marriage counseling takes work and dedication, it is highly effective for most couples. 

What’s also important to note is that not only are couples finding success with counseling, but 98% of partners find therapy a good or excellent experience. The value of counseling might be a large driving factor for couples struggling in their relationship to contact a professional. 

Simply put, marriage counseling works! Even though it can be difficult to confront challenges head on, the data overwhelmingly suggests that marriage counseling is beneficial for couples. Working with a professional and licensed therapist like ours at Well Marriage Center can help you reach your relationship goals and make positive progress. Our therapists have dedicated their entire careers to solely working with couples, plus we use science-backed methods and do not recommend separation or divorce.

 

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How Does Marriage Counseling Work?

Marriage counseling is a process for couples to focus on productive conversations. Couples give each other emotional support while having space to listen to concerns and challenges the other partner faces. A counselor should guide couples through in-depth conversations to ensure they are constructive in their discussions. In marriage counseling, you should expect:

  • An unbiased third-party listening to and understanding your conflicts. 
  • Finding and addressing systemic issues that affect one another.
  • Developing solutions to address areas of contention and implementing them at home.
  • Learning how to communicate with and listen to your partner in a safe setting.
  • Maintaining commitment, appreciation, and love for your partner during and after the process.

Ultimately, the first step in marriage counseling is deciding with your partner to meet with a counselor for mutual benefit. After that, you can find a wealth of resources to strengthen your relationship and develop healthy strategies during times of conflict. 

You might be concerned that your marriage is unsalvageable and therefore be hesitant about when to seek marriage counseling. But the success rate of couples therapy statistics indicate you have a high chance of saving your relationship.

How to Make Couples Therapy Successful

By reflecting on objectives you’ve set and putting steps into place to reach relationship goals, couples often find benefits from counseling. Successful marriage counseling is about learning to work on your challenges as a couple and as an individual, so you can gain insight on your relationship and yourself. 

Strive for greater success by: 

  • Having a good attitude toward change and willingness to be open.
  • Focusing on changing yourself and your own behaviors, not your partner’s.
  • Asking tough questions of yourself and your partner to expose challenges.
  • Communicating honestly and openly with your partner.
  • Regulating emotions to maintain a safe environment for your partner.

When you focus your efforts on you and your partner as a couple—rather than your own personal gain—marriage counseling offers a great outlet for you to communicate stronger and face challenges head on. Being willing and open as a partner gives you a greater outcome. 

 

How Long to Try Marriage Counseling Before Divorce?

On average at Well Marriage Center, couples attend 10-25 sessions for their marriage counseling, but find higher success the more sessions they have. Relationship expert Dr. Gottman explains that unhappy couples generally wait six years before seeking help from a marriage counselor. But once they get to marriage counseling, the time needed to work through challenges can sometimes take years. Of course, marriage counseling when you want a divorce is different for everyone, but couples should anticipate completing the minimum amount of sessions recommended by their counselor. You’ll have a chance to talk about timelines and goals in your first few sessions. 

Treat Your Marriage Well

At Well Marriage Center we’ve helped over 15,000 couples work through their challenges and also identify and amplify their strengths. If you’re considering counseling with your partner, we specialize in relationship science to actively adjust and improve your relationship. We want to support you as you navigate the counseling process and build a new future based on connection and trust. Reach out  today to see how we can help you and your partner.

We have offices in 22 cities across the United States, and additionally serve eight states virtually: Virginia, Maryland, Washington DC, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, Florida, and California. Reach out today!


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